Monday, February 13, 2012

WW – Week 1

I'm going to share some very private, personal information with you today.


What you see above is my Weight Watchers weigh-in card. I've been a lifetime member of WW for about two years. It's a great program, and if you are looking for a way to lose weight, I highly recommend it.

I'll summarize for you, although the card above is quite telling. I joined WW  about 1 year after Oliver was born, in 2009. I started at 146 and wanted to lose 15 lbs. By the end of the year I hit my target weight, 132 lbs. If you maintain that weight for 6 weeks in a row, you then become a lifetime member. You no longer have to pay to go to meetings unless you are over your goal weight by more than 2 lbs.

As you can see, I was within range for the first few months of 2010. Matt left at the end of April, beginning of May. I weighed 136 when he left.

In May 2010, the first month he was gone (and things were not amicable between us at the time) I lost 7 lbs in 3 weeks, 11 lbs in one month. I was in such shock, I literally did NOT eat.

My anxiety was so intense that it over-powered my body's hunger signals. I rarely felt hungry. I ate only because I knew I had to, but there were many many nights I would not eat at all. There were entire days I would go without food. Adrenaline powered my body. I began drinking a protein drink to get some calories in me; I forced it down. The times I felt a bit of hunger I ate but would quickly fill up after a few bites. A full course meal did not happen, not for a long, long time.

If you haven't experienced that kind of anxiety, let me explain: You know the feeling of butterflies in your stomach? That feeling of dread and fear before making a speech? The butterflies prior to a job interview? Having a confrontation? That feeling, the anxiety, is what I felt non-stop. Non-frickin-stop. My only relief from it was when I slept, and unfortunately, it's quite difficult to eat when you're sleeping.

In June of 2010, I actually felt confident enough to wear a bikini, first time since I was in my early 20's. I weighed 126. That is my new goal weight, altho at that weight, I still have a bit of flab. I'm hiding it nicely in this lovely photo of me. (Oh Lordie, I cannot believe I am posting a bikini photo of myself on RP!)


While you may say I look great in the pic above, I continued to drop steadily, another 10 lbs. I got down to 115 lbs with no end in sight. I went from a size 6 (at 130 lbs)

to a size 4

to a size 2

to a size 1

I actually bought one pair of jeans size 0. There were no more sizes to be had. I got a little worried. Most of my teenage and adult life I've been at 115. I'm small-boned. I have the most embarrassing tiny ankles. It's scary ridiculous. Altho I liked my flat tummy (but not my small "girls"), I knew something had to change.

Early fall, my doctor prescribed a medication for me. It stopped the anxiety and allowed me to eat. In addition, one of the side effects of that medication was weight gain. Just last month I stopped that medication (under doctor supervision). I am now at 144, and I cannot even fit into my size 6 clothes.

Here are the milestones:


This Saturday marked my return to WW after an 11-month lapse. The program has changed. I'm not too excited to make this lifestyle change, but I just cannot stand the way my clothes are (not) fitting. I cannot stand to see my body do things I've never seen it do before. I cannot imagine a summer without a slender body. I did, after all, buy 3 bikinis in 2010 (after Matt left of course) and I would really, really like to slip into those this summer. My plan is to do just that.

It's been only a couple days on the plan. I've been making healthier choices. I picked up lots of blueberries and bananas (the only fruit that helps me to avoid the candy bowl at work). I'll be eating bare bones for a while, you know, the boring stuff. Once I get my head wrapped around the new program, I'll start preparing great meals and sharing them with you.

It's my intention to share my weigh-ins with you so that I can "publicly" be accountable to shed some weight and begin my workout routine again. Please cheer me on!!!

Thanks again for checking in with me. I do read all your emails and / or comments. I so appreciate them!

6 comments :

  1. Good for you Andrea. I wish you the best in your weight loss journey :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! Please keep checking back and if you don't see a weigh in within 4 weeks (I go monthly...), please ask me how I'm doing!

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  2. Andrea,

    That is terrific - glad to see you taking care of yourself.

    Sending you positive thoughts and energy !

    You got me thinking about joining myself .....

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Andrea,

    after taking charge of your life the way you did after Matt left you, losing weight will be a piece of cake for you!

    I will be watching :)

    Best,
    Jana

    ReplyDelete
  4. Andrea, you are beautiful no matter what the scale says. I know that you will be successful in dropping the extra weight. Truthfully, the weight being a side effect of the meds may have been worth the trade off. Mental health counts for a lot! Just don't get back to 115 again .... you were scary skinny! And you look awesome in the bikini photo!

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  5. you go girl! altho you are so beautiful at any weight! i never even noticed you gained any weight andrea!!! And you lost 7lbs in 3 weeks one time? Girl I GAINED 7lbs in ONE week when I went to FL and ate like there was no tomorrow! lol so..... I know how hard this weight loss shit goes! It's tough, tough, tough work! But set your mind to it and you'll be where you wanna be again! (please, no size 0,1 or 2! sheesh, that is sooooo tiny!) I lost 104lbs and still want to lose another 30ish, God willing, so we can trudge this road of (un)happy weight loss destiny together! hahahaha Love ya!!!! *Megs*

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