Our Story: Part 2 - The Beginning: Teen Parents; Unexpected Grace

Not many people can say they met their soulmate in high school. To find your forever person while you're still trying to find yourself is probably not the most ideal. It happens, though. Not often, and typically it comes with a lot of heartache, growth, and pain. Trust me, I’ve lived it.

Let me take you back to the beginning….

Juan and I met through mutual friends. A few of our friends were dating each other, but no one ever thought, “Hey! Juan and Jen would be perfect for each other!” That sentence was never said because, honestly, we were total opposites, and on paper, we simply shouldn’t have worked.

It’s funny, though; I remember the first time I met him so clearly. He was dating another girl, one who didn’t care for me very much (trust me, it was mutual), and he was at lunch with my best friend and her boyfriend. Who also happened to be his best friend. I saw him, and instantly he caught my attention. Something about him drew me to him. We didn’t even talk! But he stuck with me…already paving a spot in my heart without even knowing it.

Our paths crossed a couple more times, each time with that other girl in tow. But then, (he finally came to his senses) suddenly, he was single! We spoke on the phone for literally 5 hours. That’s not even an exaggeration. We only got off because, well, at that time, way back in the 90s, there was only one phone line and our families didn’t appreciate the holdup. But later that same night, we spent 4 more hours messaging over ICQ (anyone remember that?!) And from there… we were inseparable.

To say our relationship went fast would be an understatement. We fell quick and hard (that’s what she said). It was like we had been together for years before we even shared our first kiss. We dove in, and honestly, didn’t even give ourselves time to take a breath.

So, it’s not really that surprising that, roughly nine months later, our lives were changed forever.

There are numerous emotions associated with being pregnant. Planning for the future. Imagining holding your precious baby. Dreaming together about the upcoming months. It should be beautiful.

But when you're still a senior in high school, still a child yourself, those feelings feel even more overwhelming. The fear, shame, and judgment were felt almost everywhere we went. Instead of that feeling of pride, we felt ashamed and broken. Stupid teenagers who didn’t know what they were doing.

Of course, our families struggled with this news. Who wouldn’t!? But I wish I could go back so much. That I could sit in front of a 17-year-old Jen and just tell her, This does not mean you're broken, ’ Hug her, and just hold her hand through this tremendously scary experience. I would do what I could to protect them both from the ridicule, shame, and anger they received.

No one believed that we would make it. Even though we wanted to get married right away, that in itself was a fight, and still not a memory I cherish. Our wedding was full of anger and pain, not the season of love every girl dreams of. I mean, my brothers refused to even attend!

But we knew something they didn’t. We knew that neither of us was going to back down. We knew that we were all in, stubborn and focused on proving everyone wrong. We knew we would do everything possible to be the best parents we possibly could be. Because our little boy, born in a season of pain and sadness, deserved so much more!

Joseph Ray Benito, named after both our dads, (a peace offering) was born August 4th, 2001. A whopping 6 lbs. 8 oz, 21 inches long. He was a little skinny guy who refused to nurse, was colic almost right at birth, and LOVED his binkie.

We were thrown into parenthood with little support and encouragement. Because so many doubted us, we refused to ask for help. Determined to do it all on our own. I wish I could say we fell into the perfect swing of parenting. That we were confident in our skills, in our love, and in our future to be the parents little Jojo deserved.

I wish I could say we had the love and support from all our families, but that wasn’t the case.

We made a lot of mistakes. Not only just trying to find our place as newlyweds, but also as parents who were just stepping into adulthood. It was a struggle. It was painful. It was definitely not the happily ever after we both dreamed about.

Looking back on that season, I only truly wish I could give us both a chance. We were doing the very best we could with very little support and love. The mistakes we made in those early years helped shape our future selves into stronger and more resilient individuals. We learned, adapted, and pushed ourselves past what we thought was possible to be the parents our kids needed. Each mistake, though sometimes extremely painful, led us on a new path of forgiveness and growth.

Unfortunately, Juan and I have a tendency to learn lessons the hard way. Our stubbornness got us through so much, but it also slowly eroded our love.

Check out Part 2- Growing Pains: Marriage, Miscommunication, and the Breaking Point.