I Could Not Ask for More

Soooooooo....

How do I thank you? I have received so many wonderful sweet comments in the last post. I thank you. It really was a nice Mothers Day gift to me, the second best I received. ;)

The first best, of course, was the comment Oliver made as soon as I picked him up at the rendezvous spot (it was his father's weekend, but I was able to get him early on Sunday so that he and I could spend time together).

“I love being with you Momma.”

And the second sweet thing he said was, “You’re going to love this: I love you Momma.”

Such a charmer.

We had a great day. And then.... I heard this amazing song by Sara Evans and I almost cried. I knew I had to share it with you guys. It said exactly how I felt on Mothers Day this year! I had never heard the song before that day. Later it occurred to me that I could set photos of Oliver and me to the song. So here goes. It's my first attempt using iMovie, and it has a few blips, but overall it works. I got the job done!

A few notes about the video that I forgot to include in the credits: some photos were taken by Kelly Fisher Photography. Many of the photos were low-res, passed thru an Instagram filter or some other iPhone photo / movie ap. The song, of course, was performed by Sara Evans, written by Diane Warren.


I had a great day on Sunday. Thank you everyone. :)

Enjoy.





Video Credits: Mother's Day Tribute 2013 , All photos taken with a Canon Rebel or iPhone 4s. Photos of Andrea taken by Oliver (age 4 or 5). Photo of Andrea and Oliver and finger taken by Grampa. Tractor owned and operated by “Grampa Johnson.” 

People in video: Oliver, Andrea, James (Oliver's cuz), Jim (Oliver's uncle), Grampa, Dotti, AJ (Oliver's best friend), Grampa Johnson

I realized while making the video that we really do have a sweet life. Oliver has a good life! I guess I don’t suck as a mother after all. ;) While he does not have what I assumed he would have in his life (two parents living together), he has two parents who love him, who have a ton of fun with him and who work together and focus on his best interests. He also has a family that adores him. For that, I am so grateful. I have thee best son (I'm sure each mother can say that about their own children), and I could not ask for more.



I Could Not Ask for More

Lying here with you
Listening to the rain
Smiling just to see
the smile upon your face
These are the moments I thank God that I’m alive
These are the moments I’ll remember all my life
I’ve found all I’ve waited for
And I could not ask for more

Looking in your eyes
Seeing all I need
Everything you are
is everything in me
These are the moments
I know heaven must exist
These are the moments
I know all I need is this
I’ve found all I’ve waited for, yeah
And I could not ask for more

I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
And every prayer has been answered
Every dream I’ve had’s come true
Yeah, right here in this moment
Is right where I’m meant to be
Here with you here with me

These are the moments I thank God that I’m alive
These are the moments I’ll remember all my life
I've found all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
And every prayer has been answered
Every dream I’ve had’s come true
Yeah, right here in this moment
Is right where I'm meant to be
Oh, here with you here with me
No, I could not ask for more
Than this love you gave me
Cause it’s all I’ve waited for
And I could not ask for more

A Little Bit Discouraged

Hi Friends,

I have been feeling a bit discouraged lately. There are a lot of thoughts and assumptions swimming in my head causing me to have self-doubt, self-pity and a general lack of energy.

I wonder if I should continue writing Raising Peanut the way I have been. I'm not looking to be a big-time blogger. I started writing this blog mainly to record a few thoughts about being a mother for the first time — in my 40's no less. There were a lot of things I did as a new mom that I did not write about that I wish I would have. For instance, I made all of Oliver's baby food. All. Of. It. This was not difficult — it was exciting, adventurous and wonderful, and it would have been awesome to write about the neat concoctions I made and how eager Oliver was to eat all of them. What a great feat to be able to look back on.

I used to experience life, sometimes while taking photos, knowing how cool certain events would be to write about. I used to write daily, even if I did not post daily. I still do actually. I write often. I just hit the "publish" button less often.

Lately, I've lost the desire to post. Why? I can tell you why...

1. I wonder if anyone reads this.

There. I said it.

Yet, my google analytics say differently. I get a lot of hits daily.

2. Maybe the weather has me feeling discouraged. It was sunny and warm for almost a full week. Now: Dank. Cold. Rainy. Dark.

3. Mother's Day is approaching. That doesn't help either. Last year was the worst Mother's Day. I had a horrible brunch with my father and my son. My dad, God bless him, has his moments. He's old. Crabby. Likes things a certain way. I’m not sure why he was such a bear last MD, but he was. When brunch was over, I even contemplated not ever talking to my dad again. Yes, it was that bad. As much as I do love him and respect him...

4. I get sad sometimes. I saw this photo today. I don't have a daddy in the house to share these moments and this joy with.

I'm not going to publish it very large b/c I do not know who this cute little girl is, and I did not take the photo. Ann Bennet did. While it's beautiful, it made me sad. It's hard to explain. I do NOT want to be married. I don’t. I am really enjoying this time alone. But the photo made me sad.

And I don't miss my X. Trust me. I do not.

5. I am sad because my days of being pregnant are over.

6. I still yearn for more children. A daughter. Lately, it has been really obvious to me when I see little girls running around, little girls with their mothers. I feel I am missing something big in my life.

Breathe. 

Mother's Day is approaching. I have made plans for just me and my son. That's it. I did not invite my father this year. While he and I are getting along fine, I had such a terrible Mother's Day last year that I know this year will be more fun with just me and Oliver. I have a male friend, yes. He wanted to cook dinner for me and Oliver, not go out. While that's nice, I don't want that either. Cooking at my home involves: cleaning and prepping, cleaning after, looking for things that he wont be able to locate in my kitchen, etc etc etc. I just want to be out in a restaurant, one of my most favorite things to do. He doesn't want to fight the crowds. That's fine. So, it will be just me and Oliver.

Maybe it's not the blog. Maybe it's the fact that I have taken a powerful dose of self-pity.

Then there's the legal fandango with my son's father and the curiosity of well-meaning friends. I'm not sure why, but it is really bothersome when people ask me if I am divorced yet, especially with this tone, "Are you divorced yet?!" with the emphasis on yet. They may as well say, “Get divorced already! What the hell is taking so long?!” I don't say what I want to say, such as, “It's really none of your (effing) business,” because I am too nice to say that. Maybe I am divorced. Maybe I am not. Why care? You already know that he left, that I'm a single mother. If I am having a hard time with anything in my life and I choose to talk about it with you, I will. If I have not brought it up, then please, do me a favor, do not ask. Instead, they hear this, “I don't want to talk about it.” Because you know what? I don't.

Sometimes I wonder if people are just nosy-rosies. I have a few friends who like to gossip. To them, I share nothing. They read RP, but I can't stop them from doing that. Then when they see me they comment about the things I've written about, especially in front of others. To those people, I say this: please comment in the comments section of the blog if you have something to say. End of story. Sheesh.

There. Annoyance. Fear. Sadness. Self-pity. Self-doubt. Rainy day. Cold weather. Tired.

I cannot get any more real and honest than that today.

See you soon,

Andrea

Shake and Sip

Don’t have plans for Cinco de Mayo? You do now.

Today Oliver and I are celebrating with fresh gaucamole and yummy quesadillas. Tomorrow I will celebrate with a fresh margarita. I know it will technically be Sexto de Mayo, but who’s counting? Besides, lots of great things happened on Sexto de Mayo. For instance, the 4-minute mile was broken on that day in 1954 — Roger Bannister became the first man to run a mile in less than 4 minutes, making the new record in 3:59.4 seconds at the Iffley Road track in Oxford, England.  And... even more significant, on May 6, 1945, WWII ends. (The German forces signed the full surrender on the 7th. VE Day is May 8th, when President Truman and Winston Churchill made the event public.)

That’s more history than you need. I wanted to be sure, however, you found a reason to make these delish elixirs. They look great in a glass, but often I like to serve them in Mason jars. And of course, they are best served on the rocks.

My favorite is lime, but feel free to add fresh strawberries and blend away to make a fruity treat.

Classic Fresh Lime Margarita

INGREDIENTS

• 4 ounces tequila
• 2 ounces Cointreau
• 2 ounces fresh-squeezed lime juice (plus spent lime rind)
• 1/2 ounce agave syrup
• Ice
• Coarse sea salt
• Additional lime wedges (for garnish)

 METHOD

1. Mix tequila, Cointreau, lime juice and agave syrup in a shaker or large measuring cup filled partway with ice and stir or shake until thoroughly chilled.
2. Spread salt on a plate. Rub rims of two rocks glasses with the spent lime. Turn glasses upside down in the salt. Fill glasses with ice and pour in the margarita liquid. Add lime wedge to each. 

Serves 2
 

Margaritas are better with food...





Not-so-classic Guacamole

INGREDIENTS (all organic)

• 2 ripe avocados
• the juice of 1 lime
• 1 ear cooked corn, kernels cut from cob
• 1 medium tomato, diced
• 1/4 red onion, diced
• freshly chopped cilantro - to taste
• 1 clove garlic (minced with garlic press)

 METHOD

1. Dice, chop and mash accordingly

Serves 2-4 as an appetizer

Here are our quesadillas. We make ours on a grill pan.

Andrea’s Quesadillas

INGREDIENTS (all organic!)

• shredded cheddar
• lightly cooked chicken breast (do not dry out!)
• tomatoes
  
• sauteed red onion
  
• red peppers, lightly sauteed
  
• freshly chopped cilantro - to taste
  
• fresh corn
• corn tortillas
• garnish:
• guacamole
• beans
• salsa (we used cherry and green)
• sour cream
  

 METHOD

1. Lay a corn tortilla on the grill pan
2. add ingredients
3. cover with a second tortilla
4. cook until cheese begins to melt
5. flip over, cook until cheese is melted
   

YUM!

Hope your day is equally as fun!

:)