Her Story: Part 2 The day we got the call

It’s so amazing that I can remember a phone call so clearly. Every word.
Every emotion.
It is forever in my mind.

My phone rang.  It was 4:00 pm on Monday, June 22, 2015. Our social worker was on the line, and this is more or less how our conversation went.

SW: I'm calling to let you know there is a baby who needs a home. I don't know a lot about her, except that she is around three months old.

Me: Aww, how exciting!

SW: There is an issue, though. We are looking for an adoptive family for her. She does have Down syndrome, and, because of this, finding her a forever home is very important. She was a safe surrender baby; the parents released their rights at birth.

Me: Does she have a name?

SW: No, they never named her. If you guys take her, you will need to give her a name.

Me (anxiety rising through the roof!): Ok, is she at least healthy?

SW: I don’t know her medical history right now, but if she had major health issues, we wouldn’t be able to place her in a typical home. I do know she has a small issue with her heart, but that doesn’t seem serious right now.

Me: Ok, what do we need to do?

SW: Call Juan and see what he thinks. If you are both on board, I’ll contact her social worker and let them know we can start the process.

Me: I will call you right back!

I picked up the phone and called Juan immediately at work.

Me: Our social worker just called me!

Juan: What’s up?

Me: They have a baby. She's roughly three months old and has Down syndrome. They asked if we would be willing to adopt her!

Juan: Where are her parents?

Me: She was a safe surrender baby. The parents signed over rights after she was born.

Juan: Tell them yes!

Me: (literally jumping up and down!) Really???

Juan: Yeah, is she healthy?

Me: She doesn't know about her case yet. She thinks she has a heart issue, but that's all.

Juan: Yeah, that’s common.

Me: Ok, so we’ll take her?

Juan: Yes!

Me: I’ll call her right back! Oh! And think of a name! We get to name her!

Juan: Alright, I’ll look.

That was it! The decision to bring this tiny baby girl into our family was made in less than five minutes.

I called our social worker right back. Within that time, she had learned that another family wanted this child to be placed with them. However, she did not feel like they were the right fit because they were currently in the process of adopting another foster child. She told me not to worry. She was going to fight for us, and I would hear from her the next day.

I went from head-over-heels joyfulness to fear and disappointment. I remember I knelt in front of the empty crib we had set up in our room. I broke down fully. I cried out to God to allow us to bring home this sweet girl. I knew nothing about her, but I knew she was supposed to be ours. Once again, I was a mama with empty arms.

I remember I walked into the living room, and the kids saw the tears still in my eyes. I told them about the conversations I just had. They were so scared and excited all at the same time. Joey and Jaylen instantly said tell them we want her. Mason, on the other hand, was hesitant. He said he didn't know if he could handle her diagnosis. I was still a mess, so I told them we would talk about it more when Juan got home. I went back to our room, cried my eyes out, and prayed for God to guide us.

When Juan arrived, we had a family meeting. We went over the possible health issues this new baby might have, and we talked about what the disability would mean for her and us as she got older. We discussed every negative thing we could find online about raising a child with Down syndrome. We were scared, but overall, we all seemed to be on board. Except for Mason. We sent the other two kids to their room and finally got him to open up. He told us that in school, when he sees the kids with special needs, he avoids them. He said they make him very uncomfortable, and he didn’t know if he could love her if we took her in. We told him that it is a VERY common feeling that even parents have. I told him I was terrified. Never in my life had I imagined raising a child with special needs. I didn’t know if I could do it! We told him we would help him adjust and that it would be ok; we would learn together. He was feeling so horrible that at one point, he ignored kids like her because he didn’t know how to approach them at school. It was understandable. As I look back on it now, it took so much courage for him to voice that concern. How many adults avoid and hide from others who are different but pretend they are ok with it?

Two days passed before our social worker had an answer for us. She told me she was ours! She had been going back and forth with the baby's social worker, fighting constantly to prove we were the right fit. We later learned that the other social worker had to limit the number of text messages he could receive since it was a work line. Apparently, she pestered him almost constantly.

Late Wednesday afternoon, she informed us that she would meet us at our home the next morning at 9:30 because the baby would be delivered. Right before we hung up, she asked me what her name would be. Juan named her Jana Lynn. Our gracious gift from God!

We were scared and still on our guard that this wouldn't go through. We sent the big kids to spend the night at their nana’s house, not even telling them the news. We were terrified that their hearts would be broken if it didn't happen. Juan took the day off from work, and we anxiously waited.